Frelling goddamned port. I curse you and everything you believe in. I lost 10 minutes of time, 10 minutes in which I could have posted a picture of the bright red DON'T FUCK WITH THE COOK apron that the wonderful e brought me back from New Orleans, 10 minutes of unplugging and replugging the goddamned cable, 10 minutes of visions of having to call all of my sponsors and tell them not to bother sending the checks because I got thrown out of the ring after only three goddamned hours.
The good news is that FreezePeach opens in ten minutes and is open from noon till midnight, so if need be, I can go mobile, go wireless, delay the inevitable fighting with my hardware until the middle of the night -- you know, when I am *really* philosophical. 
Now for the good news: Thanks to some more extraordinarily kind and generous people, I have raised $505.00 for Windows of Hope. I could almost cry, I'm so happy.